My Mother, Sarah Calhoun, She Has Been Put to Rest in my Heart

Posted by Rosie on January 22, 2012

This morning I decided to put on a pair of my mom’s favorite boots to walk in the snow to church. My mom loved these boots that I brought for her almost a year ago.  But if you knew my mom she was not a shoe person so  these are just one of two pair of boots she owned.

Mom passed on December 20, 2011 at the age of 84. Putting on her boots made me reflect on something said at her homegoing service about “walking the talk.” She took many children from her housing development, “Little Bricks” to Sunday School and she always tried to not just talk about God’s love but reflect in in her actions.

Sometimes after church she wanted to take the children out to eat.  She tried to be there for them. So you have to know that tears came to my eyes when I saw some of them attend and speak at her service. It still brings tears to my eyes as I type this. But must wipe them because I can’t see good.

She was a woman of action and when I gave my remarks at the funeral I used a word mnemonic SARAH.

S-SHARING

A-Action (She always tried to help folks)

R-REAL (She kept it real)

A-Attitude of gratitude and Attitude of trust in the Lord

H-Healing through laughter

I spoke and used short illustrations of each point. Perhaps I will share in another post.  I may also share the eulogy my husband did.But putting on these boots today reminded me so many sweet memories and a powerful legacy.  I only hope that I remain faithful and as much of a woman of action.

As her memory became more challenged after a brain stroke I started writing notes to her around her apartment.  I once wrote a note and placed it on her mirror, “God still has a lot for you to do”. She told me that she often read it and thanked me.

I know that she has a burial ground spot but I am not there everyday so I have placed her at rest in my heart.

For those of you who would like a copy, here is the funeral program for Sarah Calhoun.

Practical Gifts To Help During Grief That Baby Boomers Can Teach Younger Generations

Posted by Rosie on December 30, 2008

Many Baby Boomers Come With Experience With Death and Dying

I personally find that baby boomers and seniors are the true experts on how to deal with death and dying. My father in law just passed the day after Christmas. I am reviewing, once again, the practical things that must be done before and after the funeral. Once you are in the midst of the emotional pain you are reminded of the sensitive issues.

Often, I try to provide support in practical ways. Yet, as I get older it sure would be helpful to have someone half my age working along side me, or running errands that can help the person going through grief.

I actually find solace in the details at times. Yet, the practical things must be shared with our younger generations. For example, prior to going out of town I received two calls from members of my church offering to check in on my mom. That was a comfort. There were several practical helps offered or provided.

 Some folks help clean,cook or write out cards. But whatever, is done before and after is often learned via experiances.  I have learned that what is done for me is what I should try to do for others. Sometimes those things are small but powerful.

Yet, I am distressed at how much our younger generation does not share in this process. Many just don’t know because they were omitted from the process or just did not have time. Why?

During the holidays it seems that one of the most practical things we can do is to share how to give to others during times of grief and despair. Many are hurting when they reflect on their losses. How can we help?How do we teach our children and their children to help?

So please share your practical tips. Those things we should also teach our our younger generation.